Biguns, Victoria

There's no way I could walk past a restaurant calling itself "Biguns" without wanting to know more. Under the eaves of a strange 60s red brick condominium on the corner of Warwick Way and Vauxhall Bridge Road, this strange place appears to be a throwback to the What's Cooking? style of UK/US eateries, back in the days when spare ribs and nachos were an outrageous novelty. So accordingly, the menu travels a bizarre mid-atlantic route between fish and chips and cajun chicken, with peppered steak and "meat" lasagne thrown in for good measure. There's even an "unlimited" salad bar, where you can pick up a bowl of iceberg lettuce and e-coli bacteria from underneath a heat lamp.


It is, of course, all pretty mediocre. We went for the 'Platter for three' (between four of us), which consisted of tasteless ribs, wobbly chicken, soggy mushrooms in greasy breadcrumbs and oily onion rings. That's a whole lot of brown food. In addition we ordered a plate of Nachos, which were OK, and the platter also included a few skinny fries which I defy anywhere to mess up too badly.


To be fair, it was all just about edible, and along with a couple of beers and a lemonade the bill came to about £7.50 each. There was plenty of food here - plenty of crap food, yes, but lots of it - and at this price you don't have a whole lot to complain about. As a US-style diner and grill, Biguns fails on almost every level. As a mid-80s themed restaurant specialising in retro gastro-kitsch, I'm sure it has a long and happy future.

4/10